Entries from a disciple-in-training...

Updates

2009-06-30T23:45:00.002-04:00

Hey, this is Ben (Rachel's brother). Myself and the rest of Rachel's family are making a blog of updates for her while she is in Basic Cadet Training. It will have pictures, schedules, and any other updates we have of her.

You can find the blog here:

http://cadet-rachel.blogspot.com/

Thanks!

Benjamin

It is well with my soul.

2009-06-19T10:21:00.001-04:00

Written on 11 June, 2009. 1 week, + 1 day ago.

Basic begins in 2 weeks. Ah! And I'll be leaving home in an even shorter time. The thought terrifies me some moments. But not always. I think...the Lord's started to give me peace about it. He's helping me to come to terms with the reality and accept it. That's really good. Because I think the more I can accept and not fight against it, the better I can prepare, and the better I'll react when the time actually comes. How amazing my God is. How loving and kind. How wise! Even in the midst of my stubbornness and selfishness, He has brought me peace and softened me to His will. I can feel my spirit being turned to His, and I desire to please + follow Him more than I have in a long while. And it's so refreshing.

I'm reminded of the Great Romance, written about by Ted DekKer. I feel as though I've been pursued, rescued, wooed, and lavished upon. And all without my really realizing what was going on. Perhaps it's because I've been reading a story about it. Go figure... :). But even though my mind may just be comparing my story to that one because it wants to relate to it, I know it is still true. Jesus, God, the Holy Spirit...he has pursued me, gently, undoubtedly wooed me back to Him, rescued me from the pit of my own sin and selfish desires, and lavished his mercy, peace, and grace upon me. And He's done it more than once. Oh, how I love Him.

My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought
My sin, not in part, but the whole
Was nailed to a cross and I bare it no more
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!
It is well...with my soul.
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

This, realization, I guess I would call it, of how He's changed my heart and brought me peace, did not come through some earth shattering experience. Rather, just as I was sitting here in the van on the way back from visiting Bethany in Texas, I thought about leaving and I wasn't immediately hit with a wave of fear, which has been my responce recently whenever I thought about it. That, or completely blocking the idea from my mind. Instead I felt okay about it, and found I could accept it. I knew that reaction could only have come from my Lord. Then I felt compelled to write about it, and my thoughts/feelings further finalized and developed into what I've written here.

Also what came to mind as I've been journaling is that for the past 2 days I've had a worship song from the HA Chapel stuck in my head. Now, while I've often had random ditties twirling around up there, long has it been since a song praising and surrendering to God has been on my thoughts for more than a few minutes. Frankly, as of late I hadn't really been living my life to follow/please God. Instead, I have mostly been doing what I wanted when I wanted to, with little thought for my savior or those around me. Not that I've been living in obvious sin. But...I know myself, and my heart. And it was not in submission or obedience to the Lord. Yet still he loved me! I am amazed. And touched. And...*peaceful sigh* thank you.

So we're on the way home now. We had a pretty good time w/ Beth in Tx, and an awesome time @ the Gathering. At first in Tx we weren't sure what to do w/ ourselves. But I think everything turned our okay. Beth seemed pretty sad to see us go. And we weren't all that happy about leaving her either. But it was really neat to see where she's been living and working this whole time, and to talk to her surpervisor and meet her friends. She's got a good group of ppl there who love her and the Lord a whole bunch.

Once we get home I still have a few things yet to do, like cleaning my room, shopping, packing a box, sending out my address and envelopes, sending in my eyeglass prescription (done), finishing my security clearance (done), and just running and exercising everyday. I'm going to have to plany my time wisely, and make sure I spend qualiity time w/ my family, friends, and God. I know with His help I can do it, and I can suceed at the Academy, if I perservere and give my all. Which I fully intend to do.

Okay, the compulsion to write has been satisfied. And it felt so good too. I haven't poured myself our like that in awhile. Ah, the release. I may write once more before I head out. And I'm going to try to have my brother post for me once or twice during Basic. We'll see. Otherwise, God bless each and everyone who reads this. May His peace abound in your life, and my your too be pursued and loved by our awesome God. I'll see you on the flip side!

Dive Deep,
Rachel

This Is Home

2009-03-31T23:12:00.002-04:00

Hello again. Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I recently found out that although my AFA application has been complete since the end of February, it now says I have to send in my college transcripts, which I had already sent. The good news is that I have to send them in because the Academy will need them right before I enter with my class in June. Yes, that's right...I have been offered an appointment to the United States Air Force Academy, class of 2013. I was/am pretty psyched. I learned the news pretty much the same way I told you.

On Saturday, March 21st, I received a phone call from my ALO. I was in our basement at the time with a bunch of friends who had slept over. My Nana (mom's mom) was there as well. Because our cell's get bad reception in the basement, I went upstair to talk. He set me up in the same way: asked how I was, who was there, made sure my parents were home, and then told me I would have to send my transcripts in again. I had to send them in again in order to inprocess with my class. I couldn't believe it. I knew about many applicants who had already gotten appointments, and thought that I probably hadn't gotten in. I was never so glad to be wrong.

My ALO had gotten word from our congressman, my nominating source. He said the letter had been sent the previous Wednesday. After thanking him and hanging up, my parents (who had been watching/listening the whole time, and Dad took my picture mid-knowledge) promptly told me that they had known since Thursday. Thursday! But they had decided to wait for the official letter so that the could see my reaction. So they kept waiting and waiting for the good news, letting me wait for what I though could be bad news. When it still hadn't come on that Saturday, they called my ALO and asked him to call and tell me, so that they could still watch. 'Twas my Nana's idea. Very tricksy, they were. :)

So, of course I immediately went downstairs and told everyone the news. I think I actually jumped up and down a bit. :) They were happy for me, and gave me hugs/high-fives. I love my friends/family...:)

Obviously, this makes things a whole lot more real. Or so it seemed to me. Now I really am going to be leaving in June. That's...hard to grasp. Home is all I've known for the past 18 years, except for brief periods of time. And at those times I knew I would always be coming back. Now, I'll be 23 when I graduate, at which time I'll have 5 years of active duty to serve. Things will never be the same. I know that, and I knew it when I applied. I'm just having to actually accept it now. Whenever I think of it I think of the words to the song "This is Home" by Switchfoot:

"I've got my memories
They're always inside of me
But I can't go back
Back to how it was."

That can be very odd to think about. And...scary. So...I'm dealing with it.

One thing I usually say when people ask me if I'm excited about going is "Yes, I'm excited. Although, I want to go to the Academy...I don't want to leave home." And that's about the jist of my feelings on leaving.

Now...my thoughts on going have gone through a myriad of different levels. Sometimes I'm excited about it; there are so many different opportunities I will have, friends I will make, and ways in which I will grow. It will be a huge challenge, but I think I'm partly excited about that. That's also the part I'm nervous about. It will be so different completely different from anything I've ever done before, and I know it will be the hardest thing I've ever faced. A lot of times the different way of life makes me nervous, even scares me. Other times it excites me.

One of the main things that concerns me is how will I react to that new situation, to BCT (Basic Cadet Training). And I kind of have a plan as to how get through it the best way possible. One, I'm going to be praying my butt off. Two, to remind myself daily of why I want to be there, and of all the different things I did to get in. Three...remember to rely on those around me, and ask for help from my fellow basics when I need it. Four, I plan to (or at least try) to accept that it will be different, and not make any presumptions, but to take things as they come, deal with everything one step at a time, try to like the changes.

So that's my plan, and that's about it for this blog post. I wanted to update everyone on the end of one journey, and the start of a whole other Beast (which is a nickname for Basic). I'll try to write again at least once more before I go. April 27-28th I'll be attending Appointee Orientation with my parents. I'm really looking forward to that because it will be my first time to see the Academy, and I'll get to bunk with and shadow a cadet for a night/day. Then, I'll leave on June 24th for Inprocessing Day, which will be the next day, the 25th. That's when BCT starts, and I'll be in that for about 6 weeks.

Until next time...
Rae - Candidate Appointee, USAFA Class of 2013

Loose Ends

2009-01-29T00:18:00.001-05:00

Picture a ball of yarn; a big one with many knots and tangles on the inside. Multicolored, with some parts being dark and the others light. Around the edges of the sphere are various loose ends sticking out haphazardly, making it in danger of unraveling. This is what my brain and heart have felt like recently, and I'm not really sure why. Much of it has to do with my decision to attend the AFA, and the tasks I've had to complete during the application process, and others have to do with Beth being away, and other family issues. Besides that, I think it's just being a complicated girl that has gotten me so emotional and twisted inside. And yet for all of these feelings and thoughts, I can't seem to communicate them or release them. Not nearly as well as I normally can, anyway. Usually I just write how I feel in a long stream, but in the past few days the words haven't been coming. I once wrote a poem, and in I called myself a "bottle ready to burst"...this also quite aptly describes me as of late. I get so confused and frustrated with myself, and feel about to blow, yet nothing seems to come out. Even now, as I write this, I feel detached, in a way. Isolated. Alone. Yet I know I"m not, and that I have no reason to feel these things. And so I am conflicted.

Wow. I wrote that...perhaps about a month ago. I'm not sure exactly. And I remember that I wanted to finish it but couldn't figure out what to say. As I had written, the words would not come. And now to finish the story...

So, I was feeling like that for awhile. Alone. Kinda scared for the future. Like I had no one to talk to who would understand. Missing Beth. Yeah, it wasn't much fun. Then, last week, I had a couple of nice, long convos with my Papa-God. And he told me some things that...were amazing and encouraging and pretty much just what I needed. He also told me to be myself, and to be real with Him. So I told Him how I was feeling. And you know what? I don't feel alone anymore. I know my Papa is with me, and that He understands me. I'm learning how to function as a child of God, and by myself, w/o Beth. Which is something I knew that God wanted to teach me, and that I really needed to learn. Too bad I had to wait until 5 months after Bethany left to talk with Him about it.

By no means does that mean I don't miss Beth, or anything like that. 'Cause I still do. Mucho. But now I can honestly say that this time of separation has been good for me. It still kinda scares me to think that it's just the begining, and we'll never quite be able to go back to always being together like before...but I know I can handle it. Because I'm not alone. And I am headed in the direction that God has for me. *peaceful sigh* And I'm resting in that. Well, spiritually anyway. I'm still doing the things I need to do for the AFA. ;)

Oh, and btw - I got a nomination from my local Representative. Teehee! :-D 'Still gotta get an appointment though. So...not quite in yet.

There you have it. The ball did unravel, sorta. At least, it got pulled apart with the knots taken out, and then put back together again. Now it doesn't have nearly as man loose ends, and it's being taken care of by the strong, yet gentle hand of the Best Daddy Ever. *emphatic nod*

G'night!
~Rachel

The Road Goes Ever On and On...

2008-11-17T02:28:00.001-05:00

As many of my blog entries have begun, it has been quite some time since my last update, so I believe it's about time I post. However, because of how the many different things that have occurred, and the short amount of time I have at the moment, I am at a quandary as to what to write about. So I have decided I'll just fill you in on what has been going on recently.

This past Friday night I completed my final interview in the nomination process. That means I sat down with the six members of my local House Representative's Service Academy Committee and answered their questions for about a half hour to 45 minutes. Thankfully, it wasn't as difficult as I thought it might be, and I believe that I did fairly well. Looking back, I could have probably explained some of my answers better, and not have said "um" at all, but...nervousness definitely did not help my speaking abilities. And yet, I think it went alright. So now, I wait. Like I said before, this was last interview. I had two others beforehand with two-person panels for my senators. For the one, they said I should find out about the second week of December. For the other, sometime after the first of the year. In any case, it could be a bit yet 'till I find out if I'm still in the running. No nomination = no appointment. But, receiving a nomination does in no way guarantee an appointment either.

I still have a few things to complete for my actual academy applications. In fact, I'm a bit behind with those. Not that it's past the due date, but rather past the time when most applicants/candidates have them in, so I've got to get them done soon. My school/gym/babysitting schedule has kept me pretty busy though. I just have to find the time somehow, because they need to be done. I also have finals coming up, and a 15 page research paper due at the end of the semester (2-3 weeks away) for American Civil War...and I haven't picked a topic yet. The whole idea of such a huge paper is rather daunting to me, and I'm put if off. Tomorrow I'm hoping to pick a subject though, so we'll see how that goes.

The only other thing I should mention in the AFA regard is that I've been going to the gym daily, and I have a personal trainer whom I meet with weekly to help me prepare for my Physical Fitness Assessment, which I'll be taking hopefully the week after Thanksgiving. It's been going pretty well, and I can feel my body slowly but surely getting back in shape. Sore muscles are a good thing, right?

Oh, Dorrito!

2008-07-20T22:17:00.001-04:00

So, if you're wondering about the title, it's the name of a song that we (Beth and I and our campers) learned while we were volunteering as counselors at a Christian summer camp this past week. It was a lot of fun, and a learning experience, as we dealt with many different kids from 1st grade through 4th grade. Some were rather rambunctious and energetic, while others seemed bored and indifferent, or homesick. But they were all pretty cool, and we made a lot of friends. I think most of the kids had a really good time too.
Anyway, I figured it was about time I posted an update on the AFA. I wrote in my journal about it while at camp during Rollover (AKA quiet time, one of the counselors favorite times of the day ;) ), so I'll post that along with part of a journal entry from April that I thought it'd be cool to post here. It's interesting to look back and see how my feelings have changed, developed, and yet in a way have also stayed the same, over just a few months.

From April 25th:
Confound it all. So I've been looking at all the things I need to do in order to apply to the AF Academy, and get a nomination. There are a lot of them. They kind of make me feel overwhelmed, like "What am I getting into?" Yet at the same time my desire to go only grows stronger, and so all the requirements make me even more nervous. The mountain seems so high, I fear I'll never reach it's peak.
I understand the need for all of the requirements & rules. Truly, I do. And when/if I do receive a nomination/appointment, all of this work now will only make it sweeter. Yet, I wish it didn't have to be this way. I wish I could will them to let me in. If they could only know how much I want to go. But then, so do hundreds, or rather thousands, of others. But, I still wish it didn't have to be this way.
At the same time that I feel all of theses emotions and wants, I feel a slight tug from my Daddy-God. Not Him saying that I shouldn't go, but rather a reminder that He's there. A gentle, "Hey, remember me?" I fear I've let myself get way too caught up in thinking & preparing for the Academy, and I let it take the #1 place in my life, instead of Him. How easy it seems sometimes to let that happen. Forgive me Abba. Help me to keep my focus on You, and my priorities straight. Help me to remember my duties & responsibilities now, and not get so caught up in the future. I truly do love you Lord, and I want Your will to come first. But, sometimes I forget that. *sigh*
After that I wrote about the Service Academy meeting I posted about before.

Now here's the post from camp, dated July 13th:
There is not really too much to tell. I haven't gotten as much done as I wanted to, although I still have a lot of time. But I will need to start once we get back. A few things have occurred though. One, I took the SAT and got my scores back. Good news, I raised my total score by 130 points. Bad news, I only raise my Math by 30. So while now its at least high enough to be considered "competitive," I still need to raise it more. I really want to pass 600, hopefully by 30 points. So I'll be taking it again in October and probably November. Another thing is that I found out a friend of mine had been accepted at West Point for the class of 2012, meaning he started earlier this month. It was really cool to talk to him about the application & nomination processes before he left. Not only was the information & details from his experience helpful. But also being able to know someone who had a similar aspiration to mine, and succeeded in it was...very encouraging.
But, sometimes I feel torn within myself. I want to go to the AFA, and still have the same interests and desires concerning it, but then I think of how long I'll be gone, and all I'll miss, plus all I'll go through, and I wonder what in the world was I thinking. It's like i was flying high, all excited about it, and then I hit a brick wall, a reality check. It was rather sobering to think about all I would be sacrificing.
And I think I still want to do it; really, I know I do. The rewards would be great, and I'd fulfill a dream I've had for quite awhile. But, I think I've still got some thinking & praying to do. Because if I do get in, I want to be there for the right reasons. And because it's where God wants me to go.
So, that's about it. The things I need to do next in the process include getting my class rank from my Instructional Supervisor from cyber school, and then finish my Pre-Candidate Questionnaire hopefully by August. And I really need to run (as in start jogging regularly). I haven't been doing that steadily yet, but I really need to.

Well, that's what's been going on lately. Not much concrete information to update on, besides the SAT stuff, but lots going on in my head. Some of my friends have been asking me about my plans. That brings more confusing feelings, because I know in my head and heart what I want, and why, but it's hard to explain to them. I feel like unless people have the same desires I do, most won't understand. Now, I know my parents and siblings do, but talking with others about it still makes me feel awkward and nervous. Eh, that makes me even more nervous about all the interviews and meetings that I'll have to do during the application process. But, those are awhile off. For now I know I should just focus on the earlier, simple things I need to do. So, I'm trying. 'Tis hard though.

Okay, enough rambling. Hope you all can understand my many various thought trails. I'll leave you with the chorus of a song some friends of ours sang Beth and me for our 18th birthday:
I bless you with joy and laughter,
I bless you with a steadfast faith,
I bless you with the hopes and dreams that your heart goes after,
I bless you with amazing grace.

El segundo parte

2008-05-07T23:39:00.008-04:00

So, a friend of mine has demanded an update ;). Now, if she would simply look over my blogging history, she would realize that I am not due for another post for at least another couple of months. However, as some things have occurred on which I am able to update, and because I like this friend of mine (obviously, since she is my friend), I have decided to comply.

Let's see...about two and a half weeks ago, on a Monday night I and my parents attended an informational meeting about US service academies and obtaining nominations. It was sponsored by our local congressman and it was really helpful. I was able to meet the congressman, which was an honor because, if I had been able to, I would have voted for him in our last elections. The reason our conversation was cut short, I thought, was really cool. He had to go because he had promised his children he would be home at a certain time in order to read to them before bed. It made me like him even more. He thanked me for coming, and for making the decision I had to consider attending a service academy. That made me feel awkward and slightly embarrassed because I didn't think it was such a big deal, yet it also made me feel special and honored. As I said, he's a pretty cool guy.

Also that night I was able to talk to representatives from the Air Force Academy, as well as the Naval Academy and Merchant Marines. All were helpful and encouraging. I don't think I'll be joining the Merchant Marines, simply because they focus way to much on the sciences and engineering. That's a big part of the others too, but with them I would still be able to be an English major. Speaking with the people from the AFA was great, because they had both graduated from the academy, and were able to answer many of my questions. One was a Lieutenant Colonel, and the other a Major, and it was really cool to see them and realize that I could be like them someday. An officer in the US Air Force. Like I said, they were all encouraging, and I came away from that night really feeling like this was something I could do. That my goal was attainable. All in all it was a really good night. It also turns out the Major is actually the ALO (Admissions Liaison Officer) for the AFA assigned to the local high school, which I found out when I called him later that week. We were able to discuss the admissions process, and what I need to do in preparation. The main thing right now it retaking the SAT and trying to raise my Math score. So I'll be doing that June 7th. Unfortuntely, its the same day as the Gathering. *huge sigh* Ah well, at least Ben and Beth will be able to go.

Another thing that has occurred is that I feel God has softened my hear to His will, as I asked. It took some time, but finally about a week or so ago I was able to submit my future to His will, His plan, and say that if He didn't want me to go the AFA, then I would obey Him and praise Him still. The desire to go had basically become an idol in my life, because I put it above the desire to obey Him. Once I realized this, I had to repent and lay it down. It was a tough thing to do, but I knew I had to if I really loved Him and wanted to follow Him. And I do. Now I feel His peace about the whole situation. I don't have a definite answer as to what His plans are, but I know if He doesn't want me to go, then I won't be accepted. And if He does, He'll give me favor in the admissions peoples' eyes. Gods peace is such a wonderful thing to rest in. I learned that afresh this past weekend at a women's retreat. He's been wooing me to Himself, and showing me His love and grace once again. And I am so thankful. Now I want to pour out my love and gratitude to Him. He is so worthy of it.

So there's my update. Oh, also today was our last day of Finals, so this semester is officially over. I still have a lot of cyber stuff to finish, so I'll be working on that pretty much nonstop for the next 2 weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to get it done, considering that if I don't I won't be able to graduate. Boy, wouldn't that put a kink in my plans, lol. So I must retire to my bed now, as it is very late and I need to wake up early tomorrow to get started on my work. I pray God's abundant blessings on whomever reads this, and that you will know His love and grace as I do. Even more so. In His arms, Rachel

Hear ye, hear ye!

2008-04-11T21:26:00.005-04:00

Well, I've been meaning to write about this for the last couple of days, but haven't taken the time. I have some now, or rather, I'm taking it. Anyway...

I'm (again) considering the military. Very seriously, actually. And not in general terms anymore. I want to attend the United States Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs, Colorado. I'm hoping to go as an English major. I really want to do this...a lot.

Mom suggested it first when I was talking of merely enlisting and going through Bootcamp. Ha, she did not appreciate that thought. Then I looked into it online, and I really liked what I saw. It looks very challenging, but also so...invigorating, enabling. I think it would be such an amazing opportunity, and a life defining experience. The problem is that the Air Force Academy is a very difficult school at which to be accepted. I'm pretty well qualified academically, but they also take into consideration sports and extra-curricular activities. Mine are a bit lacking. Also, for home schoolers they lean a lot on SAT/ACT scores. Now my verbal score was fine. But my math one was below the average score of an attendee, although above average normally. There is a fitness assessment I would have to take as well, but I'm not too concerned with it, because I can prepare for it this summer. However, my SAT score and lack of sports has me a tad worried as to how much they'll hurt my chance of appointment. Besides that, I will have to obtain a recommendation from a member of congress, or the vice president. Yeah, they have some pretty hefty requirements.

So, I'm thinking about all these things right now. They are always in the back of mind, like unanswered questions. I think I would excel at the Academy if given the chance. But I'm not sure I'll ever have the chance to find out. Plus, a big concern is whether or not this is apart of God's plan for me. It's something I have to ask Him about, and then trust that He knows best. Man, it's a very hard thing to place in His hands. I'm not sure if my heart is ready to do that yet. So I'm asking that He soften it.

For now I'm going to be contacting the Northeast Admissions office and begin the application process. It will take awhile, and I'm too late to apply for this year, so I'll be applying for the Class of 2013, and begin (if accepted) in June 2009. This coming fall I'll most likely attend the local community college at which I'm currently enrolled, and continue to prepare physically.

Many times I feel awkward when I tell people I'm interested in the military. Although most don't say so, I always imagine that they're asking "why" in their heads. So I want to answer that here. Not for others, necessarily, but for myself. So that I can organize my thoughts on paper (or hard drive ;) ). Perhaps then they won't be bouncing around in my head.

Why the military? My first response to that is "why not?" But that is a rather flippant answer, in reality my "whys" go much deeper. No, I don't enjoy hurting or killing things/people. Neither do I relish the thought of being barked at day by day, or having to prove myself constantly. But there is a lot more to the armed forces than violence and humiliation. There is also adventure, bravery, structure, challenge, excitement, discipline, honor, order, and respect. In addiction, there's brotherhood and camaraderie, being apart of something huge and enduring. Protecting our country. Honoring and respecting those who have gone before us. So many parts of the military, and the US Air Force Academy in particular, fascinate me. And I won't lie and say that the adventure, honor, and glory don't present a strong attraction. I don't kid myself either. I know the process to obtaining an appointment won't be a walk in the park, and I understand the commitment I would have to make. But I accept it. I'm willing to make those sacrifices. I want to serve my country. I want to gain the discipline, skills, and maturity that would be instilled in me at the Academy. At the moment there is nothing I want more than that, besides bing in God's will. Hmmn. Perhaps that's not the most organized way I could have put it, but I believe I did answer the "why military" answer for myself.

Well, that's it. I hope to keep this updated. I'm not sure how that will go. Until next time, Rachel.

Procrastination again...

2008-02-04T22:36:00.001-05:00

Is there anything you seem to keep doing over and over again, no matter how much you purpose not to? This is how it seems to be with me and procrastination. Ugh...I keep doing it. I have time to work on my projects and assignments early, but I don't and end up working on them well into the morning that they're due. So far it hasn't affected my grades, but my Cyber courses are getting very neglected.

And it's so ridiculous, because I have the time, but I just don't spend it well. I plan to, but then don't do it. Oy, I annoy myself sometimes.

So, anyways, besides that I'm doing very well. The beach was awesome! It wasn't as warm as last year, but it was still great. As was being with the family. Lol, now we haven't seen them since New Years. I miss them. Actually, now that I think of it, I've only been in Y*** twice since then. Hmm...wow. I miss my friends too.

But at least we have found (it seems) a local church that we like. Only about 3 minutes away, actually. :-D It's pretty nice, although I miss a lot of the fellowship and people at our old church. Hopefully this one will feel more comfortable and homey as time goes on. The youth there are nice, at least some of them. And they live really close, so hopefully we'll be able to get to know them better and become friends. That'd be nice. It's odd though, because when we first moved I didn't really think we'd make friends around here, just because I liked the friends I have and didn't really see myself making new ones. But God surprises us a lot...in good ways. He amazes me at times...actually, all the time.

Okay, well, I need to hit the sack. G'night...

Quite some time...

2007-12-09T12:05:00.000-05:00

Wow...I'm rather surprised at how long it has been since I last posted. My, how quickly the year (almost) has gone. Since then I've moved (with my family) to a new county, graduated High School as a home schooler, gone to Chicago with YWAM's Phase II, and am now finishing up the Fall Semester at college. There are a lot of details I left out in that sentence, but I don't really feeling explaining it all right now.

I'm thinking about keep up with this a bit more, because on the cp I'm using I can't get onto my Facebook and Myspace accounts. So we'll see how that goes. Maybe I'll post again before the next year, maybe not.

Some exciting news...this is Final's week (yeah, not fun), but after that I have off school 'till January 9th. During this vacation time, my Dad's family and ours will be going to the beach over Christmas. Some may think NC in the winter won't be any fun, it it really is. Beth and I went with some friends the week after Christmas last year, and the weather was rather mild. The tempurature was in the 60's most days, and you could get by with a sweatshirt and shorts quite nicely. I, personally, can't wait.

Alright, I'll be going now. Adios,
~Rae

Change

2007-01-20T13:53:00.000-05:00

You know, for a long time I really didn't like change. And in some ways I still don't. But I think God's teaching me how to trust Him more with those changes. There's going to be a lot of things changing in my life soon, and for the most part, right now, I'm okay with that. I don't feel scared and uncertain anymore when I think of moving, finishing high school, or other things that come along with growing up. Now, that's not to say that I don't get nervous, because I do. But it's not a panicky nervous, it's more like a curious nervous: I'm curious to see what God has for me, and nervous because I'm still young, and still learning. For example...

...pretty soon I'm going to have to make some decisions about my future: if and where I'm going to college, what my major will be, does God want me to join the military (because that's an idea I'm toyed with for awhile), what my career will be, or if I'll even have a career...the list could go on, but those are the major concerns. I'm going to have a long talk with God someday about it all. And it's not that I doubt that God has an amazing plan for me, or that He loves me...but I doubt my ability to obey Him and hear him, without my own plans and desires getting in the way. There's a song by Sara Groves that perfectly describes my feelings.

"Hello Lord, it's me your child I have a few things on my mind. Right now I'm faced with big decisions and I'm wondering if you have minute. Because right now I don't hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up. I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person, and hear what you're saying cause right now...I think your whispering.

I don't doubt you sovereignty I doubt my own ability to hear what you're saying and to do the right thing. 'Cause I desperately want to the do the right thing but...

Right now I don't hear so well and I was wondering if you could speak up. I know that you tore the veil so I could sit with you in person and hear what your saying but right now...I just can't hear you. And somewhere in the back of my mind I think you are telling me to wait and though patience has never been mine, Lord, I will wait to hear from You. Oh, Lord, I'm waiting on You."

The places that are highlighted are the parts that I can really identify with. And God has been speaking to me, and telling me to wait...so I will. What else can I do? I'm not saying that in frustration though, but peace. His incredible peace is what I'm resting in. Thank you Lord for that!

So this is what has been on my mind recently. I like being able to get it out and consider it in writing. There are some other changes coming up that I can't really discuss right now, but I'm cool with them too, thanks to the grace of God.

Small side note: I'm not saying all of this to brag or show off or anything. Believe me, I've fallen plenty of times of my own pedestal to keep me from getting back on. This is one area that I'm strong in right now, thanks to God. There are other areas I'm really struggling in. I'm writing this as a praise to God, and as an encouragement to others who also might be dealing with changes. Give it to God, He's the most understanding, wise, and loving friend/father a girl (or guy) could have.

Hello again...

2006-11-29T00:06:00.000-05:00

A new comment has awoken me to the fact that this blog has been woefully neglected. I apologize.
So much has happened since my last post that it would take a lot of time and energy that I do not have right now to tell it all, so I shall not try. But I will give a brief overview:
Summer has come and gone. I was away for most of it. First my sister, oldest brother, mother, and I joined my aunt and uncle in Colorado to work w/a bicycle tour of the Rockies, setting up and tearing down tents for the bikers each day. That trip lasted about 2 weeks. Then we came home for about 2 1/2 weeks, then left again; this time for Texas. My sister and I went on a missions trip to Mexico with YWAM, a youth missions organization that has bases all around the world. We spent 1 1/2 weeks in Tex training, and then traveled by bus to Reynosa, Mexico. God showed his amazing faithfulness to me during that trip. It changed my life. A week was then spent in Mexico doing VBS in the mornings and street ministry at night. I was apart of a drama called Seven that was so powerful. We were able to pray with a lot of people and some accepted Jesus as Lord. Then we came back to Texas for a day or so of debriefing, after which we all traversed back to our respective homes.

WOW...that short paragraph covers a ginormous amount of memeories. It would be hard to really tell all that went on during the summer. The only way I can think to summarize it would be to say that it was awesome, which is totally overused now-a-days, but fits the bill.

Hillside has started again. My last year. It's so hard to believe that this is it. My final year of highschool is almost halfway over. Yikes! The college question looms overheard without an answer. Thankfully I've decided to put it off for a year by staying at home, taking a few classes locally, and listen to what God wants to say about my future. Meanwhile I'm tryin to get my Physics homework done. Ahh, the struggles of life...lol.

Well, I must be going...I was serious about that Physics. Duty calls, and unfortunately, I must answer.
Cherio
~Rae

The End of Hillside

2006-05-12T14:41:00.000-04:00

Hillside is over...for this year at least. It's kind of hard to believe. The beginning of the school year doesn't seem that long ago. I feel a bit sad, and happy. I'm happy to be done with the school work, especially Contemporary Lit. but I will miss interacting every week with my friends and teachers. It's weird, as a homeschooler, to feel these things, because it used to just be me, my siblings, and mom everyday. But I guess I've just gotten used to having classes and homework. Hmmm. I wonder if this is what public schooled kids feel like at the end of the school year.

We had the end of the year project day for Hillside on Wednesday. That was a long day. It was a at a different church too, because ECF doesn't have enough room for all the kids and their families. Mrs. H, the adminstrator, got lost on the way there, so we started a bit late. Because she was late, we couldn't practice our Spanish skits, so they were kind of sper-of-the-moment things, but I think they went pretty well. For Literature we did a mock "Family Feud" while playing character from the different books we read. It was fun.

I'm looking forward to this summer. In the end of June my sister, older brother, and mom are going to Co to help with the BTC (Bike Tour of Colorado). We'll be working for a company that sets up/tears down tents at each different location for the bikers. It's a great way to make money and see beautiful Colorado as well. Then, later in July, Beth and I are going to Mexico with YWAM. I'm really looking forward to that too.

Well, this has been a long post. I best be going.
May the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all, my friends. (Gal 6:18)
~Rae

Happy New Years

2006-01-12T08:55:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's a little late for a New Years post, but I couldn't think of anything else to write about. Not much is happening around here, unless you count school. There's a lot of that going on.

I don't officially have a news years resolution...but I guess one I sorta made to myself was that I would spend time with God each day. So maybe that is a resolution, but it's not as much, I'm going to do this, as I'm going to try and with God's strength maybe I will. I want to be pursuing my relationship with Him. Not just letting it be, like, yeah I have a relationship with God, but like, I have a relationship with God! And I want more! So that what I want to do this New Year.

Hope that everyone is doing awesome, ~Rae

2005-10-20T11:33:00.000-04:00

WOW. I haven't posted in a really long time. Sorry.
A lots been happening, like the start of school, Hillside (a home-school co-op I take classes at), and...well...that's about it. But all that keeps me pretty busy.
Yesterday I had Hillside, and in went pretty good. Looks like Cont. Lit is going to be getting harder, but at least now were getting into the stuff that made me interested in taking it in the first place. Spanish was...easy. No in-class quizes like I thought there would be. Yes!
Then I went to a friend of mines football game. His team was winning 19-0 in the third quarter when we left. It was a good game. BJ sacked the quarterback. That was sweet.
So, life's keeping me busy, but God's my place of rest. Keep living it, ~Rae

Harpers Ferry

2005-08-23T09:39:00.000-04:00

Ok, ok. Here's the answer: Harpers Ferry, West Virginia. We actually didn't get to camp, because it had rained a whole bunch and was supposed to rain again. So we decided to take two day trips. On Friday we went to Gettysburg and drove around the battlefields for a while, then we went to Devil's Den and climbed the rocks. It brought back some good memories. I love that place. It looked like they were either putting a new monument up at Little Round Top or else they were working on an old one. So yeah, Friday was good. Oh, after climbing we decided to drive NW and look for a place to eat. It was funny 'cause dad wasn't even sure where we were going to end up. We just drove until we found a good resturant. :P oops, have to go, will write more later...
~Rae

Bye-bye

2005-08-18T22:11:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow my family is going away for a camping trip. Yay! I can't wait. We were hoping to maybe leave today but that didn't work out. So we're leaving first thing tomorrow, too early for summer, but it's worth it. We're going to the place where John Brown was caught and hung. A little civil war trivia for you...can you guess where? Anyway, I will have a good long post for ya'll when I get back, so until then...too-tulu.
~Rae

ps. seriously, any guesses to where we're going? I give you a clue, it's on the east coast, its name starts with an "H", and it's where the potomac and...um...some other river join. Anybody??

Hello all...

2005-08-03T22:02:00.000-04:00

...I figured I should post something since I haven't in a while. Sorry 'bout that. Since CR I've worked a week, went to my Grandma's a week, and then went at the gym the beginning of this week. Last weekend my youth group had a lock-in at our church. The leaders weren't totally sure about it all, but everything went great. I think so anyway. First we had a community movie outside, then played hide n' seek in the dark inside (lot's of fun). After that we had a couple of Mr. Page's games, that's alway scary. But actually, they were pretty good...no food involved this time. Around three we watched Transformations II. It's a movie about area's around the world where God is transforming communities and nations. I wasn't too thrilled about that at first because I had seen it many times before, and I wasn't sure what everyone would think of it. But it was all good. Afterwords we had an AWESOME time of prayer. We prayed for local schools, and then shared with each other how we were doing spiritually. Then we prayed for each others needs. It was sweet.
At around 6:30 am we took a walk along one of the busiest street in town, and saw about three cars total. It was so cool because no one was around. Unfortunately we missed the sunrise, but we still had a good walk. I fell asleep for about 15 minutes before breakfeast. Church was fun. At least I didn't dose off any. :)
Tonight we had a house church meeting at our house. My dad leads it. It was cool, because one of the people who was a new christian had questions about the difference between being born again and just saying you were a christian. We read John 3 and had a good discussion. Somehow after that we got onto the subject of obedience. My dad talked about how Noah built the Ark for more than 100 years before the flood. He said the way Noah was able to keep on through all the torments, distractions, and doubts was that Noah took it one day at a time. Well, anyway, the meeting was great. Here are some notes I took during it:
Obedience is one step at a time. Run toward God and if you fall, don't stay there. Get back up on the path and keep running. Satan makes us want to stay in the pit of shame and condemnation. God says there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
I realy like what we talked about because I've been struggling with obedience. I would sin and then get stuck in a rut and keep doing it over again. I'd give up after one fall. But like dad said...one step at a time. So now I know to repent, get back up, and run full force at God without looking back. And to remember to rely on His strength instead of my own. So...yeah, God is awesome. 'Nough said.
I'm not really sorry for the sermon, I had to get some stuff out. Love to you all,
~Rachel

Chain Reaction

2005-07-17T15:55:00.000-04:00

I just got back yesterday from a missions trip in my own town. We did stuff like prayer walking, random acts of kindness, and work projects. We also had great teaching and worship at night. Here's something I wrote earlier today as I was pondering the week:

Well, now Chain Reaction is over. Many people were saying how changed they were, like Malachi (a kid from my church). I know he changed, and others, but I'm not sure about myself. God did teach me some things, and revealed stuff to me, but how much did I really change? How does God want me to change?
One thing I heard Him saying was to stop trying to be other people. A lot of times when I see people or hear stories about people who I admire, I try to copy them. I feel like following God like they do. But He was telling me to be myself. "It is great that you want to grow deeping in my like others, but the only one you need to imitate is My Son." He said to live like Jesus, but to do it as yourself.
So I guess I did change in some ways. I'm a bit freer and deeper in Jesus. I think I'll be able to see people's needs more, and be more willing to help them. I feel a little more mature. One thing I know, I'll never get enough of God. There will always be more to learn, deeper to go, more to lose. I know I can always take a step closer to Him, because He will always catch me if I fall and hold my hand when I stumble.

So that's what I was thinking. And this is a song that has jumped out to me whenever I hear it. Then last week it was one they played during morning worship; that was awesome. Here it is.

"No Sacrifice" -Jason Upton

To you I give my life, not just the parts I want to
To you I sacrifice these dreams that I hold on to

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give the gifts
Your love has given me
How can I hoard the treasures that you've designed for free?

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is staronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

To you I give my future
As long as it may last
To you I give my present
To you I give my past

Because
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your love is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice
Here's my life

There and back again...

2005-07-07T15:29:00.000-04:00

So sorry for not writing in a while. I know it's pitiful how often I post.
As to the title of this entry: I have just returned from a 2 week trip to Colorada w/my sis, cousin, and Nana(grandmother). We were there visiting my aunt and uncle. Also, we worked for something called Sherpa Packer. It's a service for bikers who go on bike tours. We provided tents, air mattresses, chairs, sleeping bags, pillows, towels, and washclothes. We also took care of the bikers luggage while they rode. This time we were apart of the Bike Tour of Colorado. We set up about 105 tents. It was a lot of work, but very enriching. The tour started in Glennwood Springs. From there we went to Snowmass Village in Aspen, Leadville (altitude 10,200 ft...cold!), Salida, Crested Butte, Hotchkiss, and then Glennwood Springs again. We were able to swim in the hot springs there. The water smells like sulfur, but it feels like a hot tub. Unfortunately, it costs and awful lot just to swim for a day. But the whole trip was wonderful, and I made a lot of money too. :D Now I have enough for a missions trip I've been saving for.

Besides that, a lot of other stuff has been happening in my spiritual life. I got a book from my grandma for my birthday called "Jesus, an Obediant Son" by Michael Phillips. It basically looks at what it would be like if Jesus were walking the earth today, and he chose you to be one of His disciples. There are a lot of really good things in it. And I've been struggling with accepting God's grace. I know the verse "His grace is sufficient for you", and I know it's true. But it seems hard for me to accept that and to walk in it. I'm still a work in progress, but this I know: I wouldn't want to live without God, no matter how confused I get or how low I fall. He's always there to catch me, hold me, and set me back on my feet again. :) ~Rachel

My Birthday

2005-05-26T10:52:00.000-04:00

Yes, as you all have probably figured out by now, May 24th was my birthday. I am now 15 years old :D Don't feel much different, but it will be nice to say I'm 15 when someone asks.
So...things are going pretty good. Talked to Amanda for awhile on Tuesday night. Boy did we have an interesting conversation. I am looking forward to seeing her again on Friday, I'm sure we will have a nothing good chat. And I saw Chelsea and Hannah yesterday. Wow, Hannah's hair has gotten long. Looks very good girl. It was very nice to see them, since we hadn't gotten together for...I don't know...at least 2 weeks.
Last night we had our home church, it went very well. A friend of dads was here, and after the meeting we all sat down and talked. We also listened to a prophecy about our family. Anyway, it was great to just sit together and talk about God and what he's doing in our family.
Nothing else to report...ti ti for now, ta ta for later.

La di da

2005-05-19T19:04:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know, haven't posted in awhile...sorry! I know your all waiting with baited breath until I do. Just don't die on me, I'm typing as fast as I can! :P :D
So, how is everybody? I just got back from soccer practice where I twisted my bad ankle (I'm going to have to discipline it soon, it's been very naughty). But I will be right as rain in a bit.
This week has been one of those where I'm just going with the flow. Nothing really exciting is happening, except the car wash Sunday...thanks for the drenching (hope I spelled that correctly) BJ. Oh, and welcome for yours...you look like you needed it :) But yeah, I kinda feel like I'm bagging my head against the wall in some area's...stuck in a rut. With God's help I will get out soon.
Well, I will see some of you on Sunday...don't forget food and drinks people!! >:( There will be a decapitating pillow coming your way if you do. :D

A Night with the King

2005-05-03T16:44:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been a while since I posted last. Sorry about that.

Anyway, last Saturday was A Night with The King. Lots of fun. For those of you who don't know what that was, I'll explain. It was a night where girls in 7-12th grade could dress up, eat gourmet food, and enjoy a wonderful evening. My church started it, but a lot of other churches from around the area contributed a bunch too.
The theme of the night was falling in love with The King, Jesus. Modesty and chastity were also talked about, along with saving physical intimacy for marriage. There was a 45 minute drama and a speaker who gave her testimony. At the end all the girls (there were about 120) were able to make a pledge and sign a paper committing themselves to purity and abstinence. It was great. My favorite part was when people prayed with us and then we had worship.
It was a lot of fun to dress up and be involved in the drama, and I hope all the girls that went were equally touched. Oh, and Beth (my sister) and I made our dresses (with help from mom and aunt Danielle).
The school year is coming to a close...I can't wait until it's totally over. Until then, school calls. Later ~Rae

PS. Amanda, you looked beautiful in your dress on Saturday. You too Beth :)

For those of you...

2005-04-18T14:56:00.000-04:00

For those who can't get on my xanga page :cough:MC Hamster:cough: I decided to post something here so that you have something interesting to read.
So, what to write...soccer's been going okay. We've played two games so far and tied both of them. The first 2-2 and the other 4-4. I know, it's not the best, but we are getting better. kinda
In other news...it's actually warm today. It was gorgeous yester day as well, and I took full advantage of that. It's supposed to get hotter as the week goes on, but then it's supposed to get colder. Rats.
We had youth group and drama last night. Drama is...coming along. Let's just say it'll be a while before we actually do it for anyone. But we are getting there. Youth group was good. I was put in charge of prayer. I didn't like that. Don't get me wrong, I like talking to God, but I don't like directing things, leading. And that's what I had to do. It actually turned out okay. We put all the prayer request up on the board (there were a lot) and then prayed as we felt lead. Then we had worship. People actually sang. :shocked: of course that's probably because we didn't have any music but...
So all in all I had a good weekend and hope you did too.

odd ramblings

2005-04-11T10:28:00.000-04:00

Hey everyone, sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I've been busy w/school, church, soccer, ect. I've got a lot of my dress for A Night with the King sewn. My aunt came over on Saturday and helped my sister and I. We actually did some of the sewing! :D
I can't wait until it (my dress) is finished.
Last Wednesday my stapler broke while at Rhetoric class :( Right when I needed it! I missed the second half of the class trying to fix it. :( :( Now I have to go and get another one. It will cost a whole dollar. I'm going to be broke. j/k :) But that's what I get for buying a cheap stapler.
Anyway, I'll write later. Bye

My website

2005-03-28T13:12:00.000-05:00

btw--I have a website. It's www.freewebs.com/in2Jesus126. You can check it out if you want to :)

Terri Schiavo

2005-03-23T11:57:00.000-05:00

I am apalled at what is happening in the court systems of the U.S. If any of you have heard about this case, I would hope you are feeling the same.
Terri Schiavo is a brain-damaged 41 year-old woman who is being starved to death at the request of her "loving" husband. The rest of her family is trying to find a way to get her back on the feeding tube that was removed on Friday. So far their attempts have been stopped, even though President Bush sign a Bill to have the tube reinserted. Now the case has gone to the Supreme Court where the family is hoping for a new verdict.
Mrs. Schiavo is not in a vegetative state. She responds to those around her and is conscious. Right now she is slowly starving to death.
In my eyes, what is happening is unbelievable. Please pray for the Schindler family, and the judges in charge of this case. If you want learn more, go to www.glennbeck.com or www.terrisfight.net.

intro

2005-03-17T19:31:00.000-05:00

Hey all,
as I say at the top, I'm just seeing how this works. I will try to post interesting things, which will hopefully get you thinkin'. Here are a few things about myself: I believe that Jesus Christ is the son of God. I guess that would make me a Christian. I like, soccer, music, and reading.
Now you know me :)