Thursday, October 02, 2014

These things I know

There is a God who loves me - who wraps me in His arms.
And that is the place where I'm changed and that's where I belong.
Take me to that place, Lord, to that secret place where I can be with You and You can make me like You.
Wrap me in Your arms!

Wrap me in your arms  by Michael Gungor.

These truths I know, and this I plead. Hear the cry of my heart tonight, Jesus.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Whisper

Passenger
Whispers

I've got open eyes 
And an open door
But I don't know what I'm searching for
I should know by now

Well I've a big old heart
This I know for sure
But I don't know what my love is for
I should know by now

Well I wait in line
So I can wait some more
'till I can't remember what I came here for
I'm gonna leave now

Cause I have light that shines
And a love so pure
But I don't know what to use them for
I should know by now

Well I spent my money
I lost my friends
I broke my mobile phone
Three a.m. and I'm drunk as hell
and I'm dancing on my own
Taxi cabs ain't stoppin' 
And I don't know my way home

It is hard to find a reason
When all ya have is doubts
Hard to see inside yourself
When you can't see your way out
Hard to find an answer
When the question won't come out
And everyone's filling me up with noise
I don't know what they're talking about
Everyone's filling me up with noise
I don't know what they're talking about 
Everyone's filling me up with noise
I don't know what they're talking about

You see all I need's a whisper ... in a world that only shouts

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I'm not quite sure why this song speaks to me so much, but it does, right to the essence of my being - and yet I almost feel guilty for it.

Who am I to feel so empty, when I have gained so much?
Who am I to feel so lost, when I have known the way?
Who am I to feel so alone, when my family and friends yearn to surround me with love?
Who am I to keep searching for the next big thing, when the only answer, the only true peace and joy, is handed to me with every breath?

But even though I have known peace and love and rest and adventure in my God, since I've wandered away so far, I am afraid of the pain and loss it will take to come back. Or maybe I assume too much and it won't be so bad. But then - how can that be?

I have lost my first love, and my trust.

Aye, there it is. Note struck, finally.

 I am afraid to trust him with my happiness - he who saved my soul. Hmm. Now what to do?
And yet that's the crux of salvation - accepting his free gift of life instead of death, and trusting him as lord and savior. The grace part - that's fairly easy for me. Who wouldn't want to know that they can have a clean slate. But the lord and savior - that, that takes a huge course correction. We human creatures who live for self at the heart of the matter, choosing to commit everything to someone else.

Are you willing, Rachel?

I hear the whisper faintly. It echoes in my silence.

Am I willing?